Depression is really all about not feeling good enough. It is also down to not following our hearts desire and having the life we want and thus, being full of regrets for the things we did not do which brings on apathy inertia.
Catherine Zeta Jones and the cricketer Michael Yardy have both been in the news suffering from debilitating depression. People who appear to have it all suffer, because of the pressure to be perfect.
- Not feeling worthy enough or believing we are good enough is the curse of the modern world, we believe we aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough etc, even when we have it all. That’s why so many comedians are depressed – they put on an act of being happy and funny then feel so much pressure to be funny all the time it actually makes them unhappy. Robbie Williams became very depressed once he had it all. When you don’t have it all you have hope that one day your life will be great. When your life is great and you are still depressed you feel even more worthless, along with feeling that you don’t deserve your success. Sportsmen feel pressure to be peak performers all the time. Women who are beautiful can never have a day off, which makes them want do what Britney Spears did—cut off their hair, get fat and give up. Most beautiful women retire into seclusion: Liz Taylor, Rita Hayworth, Greta Garbo, Ava Gardner, Anita Pallenberg all did this because they couldn’t cope with people’s disappointment when they saw them, leading to their unhappiness.
- There are the chemical depressions, which are all to do with our modern diet and lifestyle making us ill. But much more commonly, it is all to do with not feeling loveable enough or good enough just as we are. People who feel unlovable are often drawn and driven to fame as they feel it will cure them. But actually, fame increases the feeling. The feeling of “I’m not loveable but if I’m famous everyone will love me” morphs to “I am not loveable, everything I have is a fake – my fans love my voice, body, lifestyle.” And of course in the public eye everyone gets to see the destructive behaviour so it’s all made worse.
- It can also about not being able to control events. When something like a partner getting ill and almost dying happens we realise we can’t control anything and this brings on the depression suffered by CZJ. We can’t control outside events like the weather, traffic or even our bodies; but we can control our thinking and learning to think positively and to take control of our thoughts, which is very effective at curing this problem.
- Tell yourself you are enough every day. Do it when you are in the shower, or cleaning your teeth. Our mind believes what we tell it repeatedly, so the more you tell yourself you are enough, the better you will feel. When you believe you are good enough and loveable, so will others. It’s not about what you look like or have, it’s about how you feel inside. Telling yourself every day “I am enough. I am loveable enough and good enough” can and will change your life. All the clients I have got to do this – including some who were almost suicidal – tell me it changed their life forever.
- Follow your hearts desire. If you always wanted to work with animals but being a vet is beyond you, become a dog walker. If you wanted to act and have left it too late, join a drama troupe.
- Remember you are always in control if you can control your thoughts.
- Eat essential oils – the clue is in the word ESSENTIAL. Our body can’t make them and they are literally essential for our mental health. Take fish oils with omega 3 in them or eat avocado, olives, raw nuts and seeds or oily fish at least 3 times a week. Omega 3 makes your body burn fat too.
- Get some daylight as it boosts serotonin – a natural antidepressant.
- Exercise as it release endorphins – a natural antidepressant.
- Orgasms releases oxytocin, a natural antidepressant and happy hormone. Even DIY orgasms cause the same happy hormones to be released.
- Touch and massage releases oxytocin, even stroking a pet can have the same effect.
Other ways to ease depression:
- Tell yourself every day that you like yourself.
- Don’t try to be perfect- people who try to be or appear perfect are the most depressed, the most stressed and the most unhappy.
- Do what you love- if that’s cooking, gardening, animals, children anything – fit it into your life. Remember, it’s the simple things that give us the most pleasure.
- Praise yourself every day.
- Praise other people, pay them compliments every day
- Take all the B and D vitamins, and omega 3 if you are not eating the foods full of essential oils.
Read our previous blog on Hypnosis & Weight loss.